Ok so Wednesday night I started hurting pretty bad. I thought, well this makes me feel like I really do need the surgery. At 5:00am Thursday morning I was still hurting so bad, the only thing that I know to compare it to is having contractions, because it came in waves like that. So at 5:45 I called my friend Laura, who was so wonderful and took me to the ER. After a few hours of tests we finally found out what was causing that pain. I had a large cyst that ruptured, all of that fluid was trapped and hurting me. They told me that I needed to come back Friday as scheduled for surgery to make sure that it all got taken care of.
So, Friday comes. I went into surgery at about 9:30am, and it took about an hour. So now we know what is going on with me. I was diagnosed with stage 2 Endometriosis. They were able to remove all of it, which is so exciting. We're hoping it doesn't come back. They also decided that they're going to change my medicine to see if it helps.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Challenges
Well, the past few days have been pretty hard. I went to the doctor on Monday, knowing that I was going to be told that I needed surgery for Endometriosis. What I was not expecting however, was to be told that I needed to have surgery ASAP. Well, ASAP means this coming Friday, Feb. 26th.
To be completely honest I am a little scared for what this surgery will mean. There are many things that can happen. Unfortunately there isn't really any way for us to know exactly what is going on until Friday after the surgery.
Most people don't know what Endometriosis really is. And I don't know really how to explain it to people either. But I can tell you that you probably know more than one woman who has it. It hurts, and in more ways than just physically. It's sometimes hard to sit through classes, to eat, even to sleep. It can cause problems with fertility and even some other health issues. For me the emotional pain is the worst of anything that I could endure, not knowing what is going to happen, but knowing all of the possibilities. The uncertainty is insane to me.
I know that I should trust God to help me get through this, and believe me I know that He will. But sometimes you want answers, and want to be able to share with others your true feelings about everything without being judged or told that things will be "fine." I know that people don't know what to say, and I don't blame them. This is a complex and sensitive issue. It is very hard for me to explain to friends and family members how I feel about this, and about what I'm thinking and feeling. So I'm writing. I'm scared, really scared. I cry a lot. And I know that this whole thing is really hard on Ben, when we talk I can tell that it is hard for him to not be able to do anything to help me. I just try not to cry anymore, because it's hard on everyone that I know. Sometimes you just have to "pull yourself up by your own boot-straps" and go on.
To be completely honest I am a little scared for what this surgery will mean. There are many things that can happen. Unfortunately there isn't really any way for us to know exactly what is going on until Friday after the surgery.
Most people don't know what Endometriosis really is. And I don't know really how to explain it to people either. But I can tell you that you probably know more than one woman who has it. It hurts, and in more ways than just physically. It's sometimes hard to sit through classes, to eat, even to sleep. It can cause problems with fertility and even some other health issues. For me the emotional pain is the worst of anything that I could endure, not knowing what is going to happen, but knowing all of the possibilities. The uncertainty is insane to me.
I know that I should trust God to help me get through this, and believe me I know that He will. But sometimes you want answers, and want to be able to share with others your true feelings about everything without being judged or told that things will be "fine." I know that people don't know what to say, and I don't blame them. This is a complex and sensitive issue. It is very hard for me to explain to friends and family members how I feel about this, and about what I'm thinking and feeling. So I'm writing. I'm scared, really scared. I cry a lot. And I know that this whole thing is really hard on Ben, when we talk I can tell that it is hard for him to not be able to do anything to help me. I just try not to cry anymore, because it's hard on everyone that I know. Sometimes you just have to "pull yourself up by your own boot-straps" and go on.
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