Changing Lives Again......

Ok, so there are a lot of changes happening. All terrifying, but most are in a good way. The following letter was something I put together to send to friends and family that are not around me all the time. Sort of an update on what is happening in my life and everything that is going on. 






Dear Friend,

First, please forgive the form like manner of this letter. I am sending this to many people and will be replying more individually to questions and such, but this is the best way for me to get all of the information out quickly. 

I need to give a little update on my life and ask for prayer. But first, please note I am not looking for pity, instead I am looking for you to join us in rejoicing in the faithfulness of our Lord. We will need prayer and a lot of encouragement along the way. I am asking that you join us in that. And help remind us of God’s promises when the days are long and the road is tough.

I have struggled for many years with endometriosis, cysts, and other problems. At this point I have had 5 procedures and more than 8 treatment plans. I had a surgery in August of 2011, that found I had severe endometriosis and other very serious problems. After talking with my doctor and my fiancé, Nathan, and spending a lot of time in prayer, we all agreed that the best option for me is to have a total hysterectomy. I know that God has an amazing plan and is going to grow our family through adoption. We have already seen the faithfulness of the Lord in the opportunities and people that are being placed in our lives. I will have the operation on December 6,2011. 

Now for GREAT NEWS…..I got engaged on November 12,2011 to Nathan Wyble!! He is a wonderful man that I know will be a great leader and partner throughout this life. I am so thankful for his compassion and tenderness as we go through these trying times. He has been a pillar of comfort, encouragement and strength. We are amazed that almost 10 years ago we met and became close friends and now are engaged. I could not be happier than to have the tremendous blessing of becoming his wife. We will be getting married in just 4 months, on March 17th, 2012. So I will be happily planning a wedding to my best friend while I am in recovery.

I wish I could tell you of all the ways that God has been confirming not only the upcoming surgery, but also our marriage. We are both so amazed at His timing and how everything is working out to be such a blessing. 

Thank you for your love and prayer.




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If you are interested in learning about Nathan and I please visit our website. Right now it's about the wedding. After the wedding, it will be more about us and how life is going.
Our Website

You should know....

I had surgery almost a month ago. Did you know that? It's made me feel more crazy than ever. And made me cry more than ever. I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past several weeks. Really they didn't find out anything that we didn't already know....I have endometriosis. SHOCK. Ok, so I did get a little sarcastic post-surgery about the comment, "We found endometriosis." Well, DUH! That's why I came in for surgery. The outlook for (biological) children is pretty bleak, the words "it would take a miracle from the Lord," is what was said. Also not something that shocked me. But it is different to assume things, than to be told them by a Dr. 

Before you start commenting about God doing miracles or that I don't have enough faith. (Yes, I have been told I don't have enough faith because I start to share what I've been told.) Please let me get to the second part of being told this. For some reason no one ever lets me get to this second, and by far the most important part.... While it is hard and extremely emotional to think about not being able to have children, I am ok. I know that I serve a mighty God, capable of healing me and/or choosing to allow me to have children. I also know that He is infinitely smarter than I am, and knows in the long run what I will need and  the best way for those things to happen. I am grateful that God gave me, at a very young age, the desire to adopt. I have always imagined having what I refer to as a "Rainbow Family," with children of multiple races and backgrounds. I have had several people that I trust, that know me and my heart say after praying for more than a year, that God may be intending for my family to only have adopted children. Let me tell you when someone tells you this, and its not just an acquaintance, but someone you love dearly, you can't help but go before God and surrender. 

However, surrendering does not mean that there is no longer pain. Surrender is entrusting God to care for your problems, and knowing that He will handle them far better than we could imagine. I know that I am young and single. This does not make my heart hurt any less or give me a reason to not be upset. (These things mean waiting more time, until I am married, while this disease takes over more of my body.) So please do not tell me that I should "get over it" or "don't worry about it." It's not that easy. So far I have done what I can, and that is giving it to God. Now is when I need friends and loved ones to understand that my heart is broken at the thought of not having biological children, but I know I can heal. This is a time of mourning, surrender and healing. 

I know that God is going to use this part of my life to bring glory to Himself and I pray that I will be sure to praise Him throughout this journey.

I'm not Wonder Woman.

I moved. I have an awesome job. I have an amazing new boyfriend. I'm moving into an apartment this week. I'm starting Grad School in late August. And I'm having surgery again.

I think this hits the highlights of the summer.

Honestly, I want to blog, I've missed it. I just don't know what to say. There have obviously been a lot of changes since May, but really I don't know how to put it all into blog posts.

I'm a little overwhelmed right now. With getting ready to move from the house I'm in and into an apartment, there is stress. The upcoming surgery doesn't help much either. My job is stressful, but I do love it. Getting ready to start Grad School is terrifying. My roller-coaster emotions and hormones definitely don't help all of this. 

But one thing has really been eating at me for a long time. Get ready for this....

I am a little passive-aggressive. 

Unfortunately that phrase is over used and loses its meaning, or means "absolutely crazy." Really to me that phrase means, I don't know how to explain my emotions or things that are really bothering me without being "fine" and then snapping. 

If I'm being completely honest, I really don't like that part of me. On of the things that my Mom always told me about moving was that you get to start over. I knew that moving back home would be different since they already know me here, but I knew I could at least work on my "passive-aggressive" tendencies. Until recently I thought I was doing really well. But of course I got cocky and it came back to slap me in the face today. I'm slowly learning to wait until I calm down or until I can figure out an appropriate way to express whatever is going on, instead of saying things I don't mean and that I will regret. I would rather be silent than to deeply hurt the people I cherish the most. 

All of this really comes down to not trying to do it all and handle it all by myself. I know it's not healthy, but sometimes I forget and try to be Wonder Woman. I'm totally not her. I'm having to learn to trust God with all of this and trust that He has put people in my life to help me through it all.

BOOMER SOONER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been accepted to OU-Tulsa for their Master of Social Work program!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means I'm moving to Tulsa!!!!!!! 

That means I need a place to live!!!! And a job!!!! 

So help a sister out please......send me a message or leave a comment. Any direction would help!!! 

Thank you so much for your prayers and  support!!!!

Preparing for changes

I'm going crazy. It's true I really am. And you know what, it's ok. I know it's normal. There is less than one month left in school.....

Digest that one for a minute.....Last month of undergraduate schooling......GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My brain just can't really wrap around that one.

Then hopefully I'll be moving to Tulsa!!! (Well more specifically Owasso) 

More on all this later when I actually know what is going on.

(Tiffany, Chelsea and I at Olive Garden 03/11)

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You know what. Sometimes you take advantage of people and them being in your life. Or maybe you just never consider that your relationship may shift or get turned upside down.

I think it's so cool how something can happen and it's like you've opened your eyes and seen the person for the first time. 

That's totally happening to me. And it's overwhelming me. Like for real I almost can't handle it. But totally in a good way. It has just been unexpected and I am praying hard for guidance on how to handle it and how to respond. 

I'm trying to be a little slower in response so that I can really talk to and hear from God about what is right for my life and for how I need to serve Him.

(So please pray that I will be guided by the Spirit in how to handle this and that I will not let my heart get ahead of my head and the Lord)

Through this all I've realized that just as I want people to allow me to grow and mature as a person and a Christian, I have to allow the same for others. Things change when years pass, and you can't control that. But you can control how you respond. I pray you are able to respond to changes in your life with kindness, humility and grace.

(Dale, Erin and I New Year's Day)

TULSA.... Here I Come!!!!!

Last night I applied for a job in Tulsa, OK. And about 11am this morning I found out that I had to go to Tulsa for a test/interview within the week!! WOW!!! 

So I've bought a ticket and I get on a plane tomorrow afternoon to head out there!!!

AHHHHH!! Talk about crazy. 

So dear friends, I will be out there tomorrow night and leave Sunday morning.

SO... Please pray for me as I make the trip, do the work stuff, and thankfully get some good friend time!!

So scared of getting older......

So in just a mere 59 days I will graduate from college. Do you know what that means???

I will soon be entering the real world!!!

I am absolutely terrified!!!!!

As of today, I have no job prospects. I have no acceptance letters for Graduate School.

There are no plans. I know God has been working with me on this, but I am so scared. And truthfully I am more afraid of not being able to financially plan than anything else. Finances have always been my biggest concern when it came to me being completely on my own.

But in spite of all of that.......I have had to jump full force into researching multiple "money eaters."

What are "money eaters" you ask?

Cars......Furniture.....Homes

Yeah...... :(

I need a couch. I've actually been looking at a few....

This is one from IKEA.....

I love that this couch is grey (gray)....I'm never quite sure on that spelling....

But I just love that it's a moderate neutral.

This next one is from IKEA as well....just without the lounge part....

I just want something that could last some time, and go with whatever style I want. Even if it changes a lot. So what do you think? How did you make choices about furniture???

As far as homes, I'm just trying to figure out what would be financially in my best interest. 

Rent or Own.

Really I can't even talk about cars. It just makes me sick.

Honestly I have about a million different numbers and ideas going through my head.

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Once again, I am unashamedly begging for job help. Preferably in the Tulsa area. 

My majors are Psychology and Social Work. I love these fields.

But seriously if you know of a place that is hiring (full-time), then please let me know.

And it doesn't have to be related to Social Work or Psychology, but obviously those are my preferences.

And I really do need housing. Even if I'm renting a room.

An apartment or house would be a blessing.

But I need to eat, sleep and drink coffee.....

Twice in a week...I'm getting better.

Recently I have been looking more at home stuff. I've been in that kind of mood. I think it's because it may soon be up to me what my home looks like. 

My #1 favorite thing right now is stencils for the floor. 

I love that this looks like they pasted a delicate lace on the floor. Gah, 2 of my loves in one.

As for baking/cooking.....

This is from Sprinkle Bakes....

...I know they look fantastic don't they. Once I get some time on my hands, and around some people who won't freak out that there is a little alcohol to make the flames...It's not something I could make for church I'm sure.

But fear not...I have a picture of a delicious cake I made....

(I apologize for the terrible lighting. There is only so much you can do with a Blackberry.)

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I received an email asking about how I'm doing, like me, not the things I'm doing or what I'm interested in now...me. It's nice for people to care about you as a person, about your emotions.

I am super emotional these days, I'm trying super hard to hold it in. Most days I succeed. But recently it's been a lot harder. My body is going crazy as we keep searching for the right path of treatment for everything. The blessing is that I am not in as much pain as before, I know part of that is the medicine I'm currently on.

I'm not totally into telling all about the current medications, mostly because they are hard to spell and hard to explain. 

I haven't been sleeping, which is dumb. I am not a fan of things to make you sleep, in my experience they leave you with a terrible hangover. I just want to sleep without waking up 10 times a night. 

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Again, I ask that if you know of a place that is hiring part-time or full-time in the Tulsa area, please let me know. 

Also if you know of a place I could live, please let me know. Like I said before...a place to sleep, eat, and drink coffee...it's all I need. 

Moving again?? I sure hope so.... (long, but not heavy post)

Yeah, I know I'm a little crazy. But I so want to move again. This move though I hope would be the last one for a long while. I'm hoping to get a job and/or get into Grad School in the Tulsa area. It is home, and I miss my home.

Almost all of my BFFs are there.....

Like Miss Chelsea Grace...

Mrs. Jillian Casey and her babies...

And a ton of other people that I love dearly and I'm tired of living without.

And I miss my church. At this point in my life I need a church to help me grow, a place where I can work and be encouraged and challenged. I need family, not just a church. But really don't we all need those things all the time?? I think so.

SO if you are reading this and you love me, which I assume you do....Please keep your eyes and ears open for a job for me. Even if I am coming for Grad School I will need a job, and if need be I will have 2 jobs. I will have a BS in Interdisciplinary Studies, concentrating in Psychology and Social Work.

With moving also comes housing....So keep ears and eyes open for that too. I don't need much space, but I need a place to sleep and to eat. and have coffee.

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Ok so I have become one of "those people" that becomes a little obsessed with American Idol. I'm honestly a little ashamed....

But not ashamed enough to not post videos...... So enjoy my new love.

Did you see his teeth. They are perfect. My dad made fun of me for noticing his perfect teeth a few shows ago. But I really do love a good set of teeth. I figure if you take care of your teeth, you're taking care of everything else. It's the family joke that good teeth are my first requirement for a husband..... I wish I could say it isn't true, but it is.

I should be studying...

I just can't there are to many wonderful wonderful things that I should be doing that do not include studying. 

Like...

Reading. I truly love reading books that do not pertain to social work and psychology. 

I'm reading this book right now. It's about where my heart is right now, the second book is about what God is calling me to.

Revelations of a Single Woman:Loving the Life I didn't Expect

Who Has Your Heart?

This is my current Bible Study....

Get Uncomfortable

Lately I have been trying to focus on what God is calling me to do and who He is calling me to be. For too long I have abandoned what I know God has called me to because it was hard, it was "easier" to ignore God. Boy oh boy was I wrong. God has called me to live a life that is passionate and compassionate. I know that people may look at what I'm reading and say, "Why are you reading about being single, you're so young?" I know I am young, but being single and living for God is something I struggle with. It is something that I daily have to wake-up and say that I'm going to be ok with, because honestly I want a husband and a family more than anything in the world. But I am to the point in my life that I am not going to sacrifice myself, my faith or my God to get those things. I'd say those are major things obstacles that I have, not conquered, but that God and I beat them more often than I let them win.

Happy Valentine's Day!! (Late)

So yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Valentine's Day. It just makes me so happy. When I walk into a store and see a sea of red and pink hearts, I just melt.

This is the cake that I made for Grace Baptist's Valentine's Dessert Fellowship.

I was so happy with it!!

So since it's been a while...Her are some other things I love!!!

This gorgeous Inspiration Board is from Elizabeth Ann Designs. I love love love it. One of my favorite things about the dress is that you can see the shoes. I love shoes too so that's why.

Ok, I couldn't find a picture that captured everything I feel about this website....bhldn. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. If you love antropologie like I do then you will love them too.

One of the prettiest, sweetest weddings EVER. 

I didn't put a pic, because truthfully you can't tell everything in one picture. You really have to read about them. I cried this morning looking at their story.

So this weekend, my awesome Mommy and I are going to Antique Week here in Nashville. I'm so very very excited!! I promise I will post pictures right after!!

It's been a while.

I'm terribly sorry for my inactivity in the past few weeks. There has bee a lot going on.

First of all I'm not Gluten-Free!! YAY!! I also am not having to do the crazy diet that they thought I would have to do. They thought I would have to do one where I couldn't have any acid. Let me give you some time to process what that would mean...Think no tomatoes, lemons, anything with vinegar, etc.

Yeah that was awful for the 2 weeks I was on that. But thankfully I was able to go off of it after a procedure was done to confirm that I didn't have the disorder that needed that.

The great thing is that I got a job. I'm a part-time nanny, watching a little girl. I love it. It pays well and it's a great way for me to make some money and stay busy.

My semester is going well. I'm glad I'm in my last one. I'm taking Personal Finance, Behavioral Modification, Family Caregiving, US History II, and Intro to Dance.

I'm going to post some pictures later to show you our Christmas and other happenings since then.

I hope you are doing well. I also hope if you're snowed in, as many of my friends are, that you are warm and with family.